Harry's Truth
by make me tell
Summary: The truth about Harrys birth and the real reason why Voldemort decided to kill him This is my first fanfic so please be nice and please review
1. The Beginning

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers

**Chapter 1 – The Beginning**

Snap! The camera shutter clicked shut, expelling a cloud of purple fog, consuming the people waiting in front. Lily and James grinned at each other, over Peters head, laughing through the haze. The August leaves falling behind them, they stood up and made their way through the ensuing chaos of fighting to get back inside first, and shelter from the biting wind.

James grabbed the wrists of his best friends Sirius and Remus, and pulled them through the chattering crowd. Sirius was pulled away from Dorcas Meadows, his current interest. She batted her eyelids at him as he blew kisses from his free hand. Remus Lupin rolled his eyes from above heavy bags, shadowing his distinctive features, brown hair, peppered with premature strands of grey, framed his face.

Still chuckling, Lily snatched up Alice and her husband Frank from their conversation with Emmeline Vance. They skipped inside Potter Manor grinning, cares of the dark days forgotten. Peter followed them. They jolted still as one when the stepped inside, and remembered Martha, the first member of the Order of the Phoenix to be killed, just last week. Her bags lay before them.

"How can we be allowed to laugh? When people are dying all around?" Lily asked, her face sheet white as she released Frank and clutched her husbands shoulder.

"How can there be love in a world like this?" Alice asked Frank as she buried her face in his shoulder.

The newly solemn, youngest members of the Order went up the ornate staircase and sat on the landing, gazing up at the forefathers of James Potter.

"Whose on duty tonight?" asked Remus, "All I know is that it's not me, James, Sirius or Peter"

"'Course not, it's the full moon. I'd forgotten" commented James

"Edgar Marlene, Dedalus, Moody and Caradoc" recited Peter tonelessly. He then gasped a little squeak and put his long nailed hand over his mouth.

"How did you know that?" exclaimed Remus.

Peter went flushed from white to scarlet, "erm…er…" he stuttered "Dumbledore told me, yes that's right, Dumbledore told me"

"Right…" said Sirius, shaking his head, "so anyway, what do you lot think about Dorcas' new perfume? Sweet or what?"

The moment passed away, the group groaned.

§

It was getting dark; Dumbledore stood up from the elaborately carved, mahogany chair and stretched. He cast a long opaque shadow on the stone walls, which flickered from the light of the fire.

"Right Minerva, I'm off to go interview this new Divination teacher. The Gods know that I don't want to, but there we are. Hogwarts' Heads must do their duty" he sighed.

"Albus, why?" Professor McGonagall asked "How are we any closer to winning this war, with or without burbling, nonsense-spewing hags?"

"We have to keep the school running as close to normal as possible. Hagrid still does the game keeping when he can, doesn't he? You still teach our students how to turn a lemur into a zebra don't you? I still come in as often as we can, don't I. If this woman turns out to be a burbling, nonsense-spewing hag then I'll give up. Deal?"

"Alright Albus, but just so you know, I'm not happy. Where is this woman anyway?" she inquired

"Hogs Head, delightful isn't it? These are new robes as well" Dumbledore shook his head. "Well we can't all be prosperous at the beginning of our lives. We all know that I wasn't"

Minerva McGonagall lifted herself from the cushioned seat and sighed "Stay safe Albus" she put a wrinkled hand on his shoulder and swept out of the room, robes whispering

"I try to, my love, I try to" Dumbledore murmured after her.

§

Dumbledore's robes cast a trail in the dirt on the floor of the Hogs Head bar. The filth of decades was wiped away and clung to the silk lining. A good cleaning charm probably wouldn't be enough. Groaning inwardly, he approached a frizzy haired woman, downing almost a whole bottle of sherry. The pungent aroma nearly over-powered the Professor as he steeled himself to approach the grimy table.

He offered a hand for her to shake "Good evening, I am Albus Dumbledore, Head of Hogwarts School"

"Sure you are, pull the other one" she slurred, her eyes slightly bulging. "I'm the dark wizard Grindelwald"

"No, he's very dead madam. Would I be right in assuming that you are Miss Trelawney?" Dumbledore asked "You applied for a post at my school?"

"Shit, you are the old… Professor" she cursed

"Yes, I'm afraid that I am getting on a bit" he smiled good naturedly "Perhaps we could go up to your rooms? And get… acquainted"

The burbling nonsense-spewing hag got up and shook herself. Her back came up straight and she looked proud. "May I start again?" without waiting for an answer she continued "I am Sybill Patricia Trelawney, the great, great-granddaughter of Cassandra Trelawney. Good evening"

"Good Evening" they shook hands at last.

"My room is this way"

Dumbledore smiled at the bartender, and received a shadow of a wink back. Dumbledore's brother kept up appearances.

They climbed a creaking stair case, where a broken ankle was threatened at every step. The dust lay thick on the banister, which splintered and fell away at a touch. Dumbledore shook his head, it may be cheap but there was no excuse for neglect. This was filth in its most accentuated state. It was disgusting. The landing had already been damaged by an overly heavy witch or wizard, searching for bargain prices. The bargain had failed.

As they entered the first room on the left, Dumbledore cast a quick Warn-Me spell, a habit picked up from these dark days. They forced open the rusting handle. It creaked open venomously. "I apologise for the state of this place" Sybill said. She swept her around the clothes strewn around the floor and occult symbols hang from the ceiling.

"That's quite alright; I have seen my students' rooms and they are in a much worse state than this" Dumbledore lied through his teeth.

Trelawney laughed at that.

"I was wondering if you could 'see' something for me" Dumbledore asked courteously

"The gift does not work like that" replied Sybill angrily, promptly.

"Oh, sorry" apologised Professor Dumbledore "I am afraid that I have gotten used to the prestigious skills of our former Divination teacher."

Sybill gasped at the jibe "Sir, I am offended"

"I apologise, I assure that no offence was meant"

"That's is alright, if I may perform my skills to you I would be deeply honoured" she said

The night passed by with a display of palm reading, dream interpretation and tea leaf reading. After two hours of this, with no real skill portrayed, Dumbledore bade the goodbye and began to leave, when a harsh voice broke through the air. At that moment, the Warn-Me spell gave Dumbledore a harsh twinge. There was someone at the door.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…"

Dumbledore looked around wildly, instinct taking over without any thought. He took control and took his wand in his hand.

"Born to those who have thrice defied him…"

Trying to both take this in and cast a spell, Dumbledore felt very distracted and struggled momentarily. His wand to his temple, he called his brother from the bar below. The professor could not leave at that moment.

"Born as the seventh month dies…"

At that moment, Aberforth burst through the door, Severus Snape held in front of him, struggling to hide his face with his black curtain of hair.

"Get him out of here, quickly Aberforth" yelled Dumbledore

The door closed with a shuddering slam

"And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…"

Dumbledore devoted his entire mind to the prophesising woman, taking in every word.

"And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…"

The words imprinted themselves on Dumbledore's memory, and he shuddered as he thought of what this could mean.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies"

Sybill Trelawney gave a huge shudder and opened her huge pale eyes to the reality around her.

"I apologise sir, I don't know what happened right there"

"That's quite alright madam, I have heard enough. You're hired


	2. Suspicions and Dashed Hopes

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers. Rated M please pay attention.

**Chapter 2: Suspicions and Dashed Hopes**

Term started at Hogwarts and Professor Dumbledore's visits to Potter Manor, Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, became fewer and had longer periods in between, as did Professor McGonagall's. But on this day, two weeks later, the next Order meeting took place in the dining room of Potter Manor. Stern green eyes flickered above the rabble. Behind the grey head of Dumbledore, James' great, great, great-grandfather Baron Augustus Potter looked on solemnly. Gathered around the table sat the majority of the Order.

"Attention" called Dumbledore over the buzz "Your attention please"

He was dressed in plain, sombre black robes; his silver sheet of hair lay long down his back. The only decoration he wore was a rough Hebridean Black skin belt.

"I have called you all here today for a very sad reason. Only a few weeks ago, we lost our dear friend and amazing witch, Martha, you died in our services. Now I am afraid to say that we have lost another. Last night on duty to the Order of the Phoenix, Marlene McKinnon died. She was killed by two Death Eaters. Her parents and brother were both killed too." Dumbledore sounded genuinely broken. "You all know that war is dangerous, and the loss of this great witch is proof of this. I am as sorry as any of you."

A silence, broken only by the sighing and whispering of the wizards robes shuffling around with small movements, fell over the gathered wizards. It was an awful silence that felt like, if broken, the world would end. Lily went so white you would have thought her dead. Sirius and James both clutched the table at this news. Frank and Alice turned to each other, tears in their eyes. Remus stayed stock still, a statue to match the marble around the room.

"I know that you are all very shocked, but she would not want you to mourn. She was a woman who loved life, and would want you to love your life and not mourn" sighed Dumbledore.

The silence split and the group of wizards finally spoke to each other, but no longer were the noises joyful and light-hearted, but mournful.

There were many tears shed and many voices broken in grief as they pledged to revenge the death of their fallen comrade.

§

At the end of the meeting the wizards clumped together in their own groups of friends. Sirius dragged Lily, James and Remus into a discreet corner.

"Guys this can't go on, this isn't right. Those people were shrouded; they were supposed to be safe. The enemy has some way of getting information from the Order, and I don't know how. There has got to be a spy, some double dealer that is selling information to the Darkness"

Lily had not seen Sirius this serious or grave in a very long time.

"I agree" she said, surprising herself. "He can't just know this. He must be getting information from inside these very walls"

Sirius sent her a quick glance of thanks; sincerity etched on his face "Only a few people knew about their new home. They moved out of their last because they felt threatened. Only the Order knew. We aren't just playing games anymore. This is life and death. This is a war."

"We know" said Remus quietly, the first thing he had said since the beginning of the meeting "None of us wanted her to die. She was a great witch. I'll never forget her"

Lily laid a hand on his shoulder, a sign of comfort. She knew that Remus thought of Marlene as a very close friend. She had consoled him at the break up of him and his love; she had helped him through the time he had nearly attacked a muggle town. Lily knew that he would miss her more than almost anyone in the Order.

"I still cannot comprehend how anyone can kill innocent people. Her brother was only seven" said Lily, with her heart full of compassion and sorrow.

"That's the way things are my love" said James "That's just the way these things are. At least our consciences are clear – we only bring criminals to the Aurors and they are the ones that have done things wrong."

"At least we can have happiness in each other" replied Lily

"If we can all stay together"

Lily's eyes filled with tears

§

As they lay in bed at their own house that night, sleep not coming, Lily turned to James and asked "Honey, how many kids do you want?"

James sat bolt upright

"Kids? Isn't it a bit… soon to be thinking of kids already?" he seemed flustered and shocked that anyone would want a child in these times.

Lily flushed "Well yeah, I mean… what I'm trying to say is… Well wouldn't it be great to have children, you don't know how long you're going to live. Not with all the dangers around."

"But this is a harsh place, a harsh time. No one can guarantee that any child is going to be safe" James replied

"Just hypothetically," said Lily "If we could have kids, and it was safe, how many would you have"

"To be honest Lils, I just don't know" James exhaled "I never thought about children"

"Ok" moaned Lily, "Ok, night James"

Her eyes filled with tears as she rolled over, back to back with her husband. Was it to much to ask for in a marriage? Couldn't she be graced with one child, even one child? When she was younger it was all she ever dreamed about was having a husband, and a family. Was she too demanding, she thought, was it too soon? Her parents had her very young, so why couldn't she have children. Lily was no longer a child. If Merlin owed her anything from serving him in the fight for justice, it was her only wish, her wish of children.

"Come on Lils, you know how much I love you. I just don't feel ready for kids yet"

Lily let out a small strangled sob

"I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun" James grinned in the dark and pulled his wife closer. His skin warmed the love of his life and made her grin. He stroked the soft woman, down from her cheek, tracing her contours. He got lower and lower and he smiled when he felt her shiver with pleasure, as he stroked the base of her spine and the small of her back.

They dived under the mattress in one fluid motion. Lily waited and waited during that session of love making, for her husband to insert his seed inside her, but it never came. He held her close, stroked her, kissed her, nibbled at her neck, and tickled her with his tongue all the way up and down her body. She responded, going through every step she could think of, to give her husband pleasure.

Lily kissed James, all over his body. She took his penis in her hands and rubbed it, massaged it. She felt like a common slut, as she felt every crease of her husband under her hands, but James did not come. It lay flat like a dead thing, useless in her hands. Salty tears dribbled down her face, as she angrily lay back down, for him to massage her breasts. Did he do this to her on purpose?

As the moon rose outside the window, Lily heard the resounding snore of her husband. He had long since ceased to touch, and she was now lying cold away from his body.

She stood up, dressed herself, and went to the downstairs fireplace. She launched a handful of floo powder into the fireplace and said softly "Diagon Alley"

Lily stepped inside the roaring flames and spun round and round, the fire a green blur, the chimneys of houses across London flashed before her eyes and the stopped, as she stepped out onto the cold cobblestones of Diagon Alley.

The wizarding street did not sleep by night, in fact quite the opposite. Whilst muggles went around London during the day, it was quietly infested with wizards by night, there was less chance of anyone seeing a wizard at night, coupled with the fact that they would believe they had just had one too many drinks.

The bright lights, cheerful sounds, wizards calling their wares, and stalls selling protection did not change by night, only the wizards doing the calling. Even they needed sleep.

Lily stepped around a stand selling cheap fae eggs "Guaranteed to bring you luck in life and death situations". Lily snorted; get rid of all witnesses why don't you? The seedy man at the stand leered at her, and she stepped up her pace.

Lily turned the corner and was faced with a dark alleyway, with moss covered bricks and crates, unlabeled, unopened. She knocked on the only grey brick on the north facing wall of red. "Madam Acorah, please, it's Lily Potter. I need to see you"

The brick crumbled away, and Lily was faced with the quite disturbing sight of two eyes. A single eye, bright aqua, lined with violet penetrated Lily. The other was blind and milky, staring into space, whilst staring at Lily at the same time.

"Good evening my dear, I thought that you might be coming back" the voice, not dissimilar to the creaking of a wicker chair when faced with imminent removal of a heavy load, echoed around the alley. The resulting sound raised the hairs on the back of Lily's neck and she suppressed an involuntary shudder.

The bricks around the eyes fell away also, and a small priest hole was unveiled. There was a small table in the middle, a rickety bench on the left and, sitting on an identically marred seat, a woman, so small and wrinkled that at first glance Lily had thought that she was just a child. But she was not. She had the wisdom of many past years, and many past wizarding wars.

"Good evening ma'am," curtsied Lily to the soothsayer. "I brought home made scones, still warm"

The woman gave a gap toothed grin. "You know how I like them," the rotting teeth hid themselves again "So what brings you here?"

This question had been repeated to the girl many times, and each time, minus the first, Lily replied "Madam Acorah, you already know"

The soothsayer chuckled "You were always too cheeky for your own good madam," suddenly serious Madam Acorah said "You are worried that you have made the wrong decision. You already believe that Potter was a risk"

It was a statement, not a fact.

"He won't give me children. Oh Julia, you know that I want them more than anything in this world. It is the sole reason for a woman to live," Lily decreed passionately. "He is never erect, no matter what I do. I've tried slipping him your potions, charms, everything"

She started to sob "I know that he can do it. Sixth year he got that Bellamy girl pregnant, no trouble. She was a one night stand! Her first and only session and she got pregnant. It was no secret that it was James Potter. He hardly tried to look ashamed, only to me did he try to suck it up." Her breath came unevenly now as she gulped "He just won't come for me, I try everything. All I want is a child"

Madam Acorah patted Lily's hands, "Let it all out" she crooned

"I can't go on pleasing him all the time, not if he won't react. He just has to stop resisting and do a very simple deed. He'd do it from Sirius if he asked him, so why not me?"

Madam Acorah straightened and took Lily's face in her wizened hands "Girl, you know that I can't help if he won't cooperate. You just need to make him remember that you could leave any day now. And even if he does ejaculate, there's no guarantee that you'll get pregnant. You know that. You just keep trying my girl, keeping trying to make him happy. Put on that brave face and hope.

"You tell that boy that he doesn't deserve your love unless he is going to love you back and give you what you need. You aren't some girl wanting looks; you're a girl wanting love. And you let him know that you want to make him happy, but not at the expense of your own happiness"

That night, Lily left Diagon Alley with a hand on her stomach and a smile on her face, almost feeling the baby waiting to be born, the egg waiting to be fertilized, the life waiting to be created.


	3. Agreements all Around

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers. Rated M please pay attention.

**Chapter 3: Agreements all Around**

September passed in a blur of patrolling London's streets for any sign of Death Eater activities. The roads would echo with each step, even muggles were turning to shelter now, finally opening their eyes to the dangers. Even Diagon Alley was quieter, despite the refuge of darkness. Some of the more honest stall holders has abandoned the practice of selling their wares at night and now only took root during the day.

On October 30th, Lily, James, Alice, Fabian Prewett and his brother Gideon, were summoned to Hogwarts to meet with Dumbledore. When Lily and James received their summons, they apparated straight over to Hogsmeade, before realising that they were not needed until midnight that night. To pass the time they wandered around their old haunts in Hogsmeade Village, reminded of their dates back in seventh year. They had apparated at the end of the Village and proceeded up the street. They half skipped, hand in hand, past the cottages and wilderness, to the last shop on the high street – Dervish and Banges. The recently repaired items in the shop lay shining in the ever-changing window display.

"Do you remember back in 1st year when I took a muggle picture of Snape in there and the man in the shop said that he couldn't fix it?" laughed James

Lily shook her head "I try not to" she replied dryly

The walked further into the main street, seemingly careless in a road full of bustling bodies, heads down and hoods up against the bitter wind. James pointed to the left.

"Do you want to go down there? The Hog's Head? We could have a drink?"

"You rouge you," laughed Lily in reply "Here's me thinking I beat it all out of you"

"Not yet you haven't, can't win that easily my love"

They passed Schrivenschafts and Zonkos on their right, proudly displaying their contrasting items – Quills for the scholarly and Jokes for those who think that their mission in life is to drive others to insanity. The crowds fighting their way in and out of each shop shot daggers at each other.

James laughingly pointed this out to his wife, when his eyes fell on Honeydukes and he gasped. There were boards up in the windows; even the flat above the shop was closed. A symbol of the dark times, where no one could be safe, not even rotund sweet shop owners.

Lily let out a moan and turned away, burying her auburn hair in her hands. James took her gently but firmly but the arms and piloted her back the way the came and turned left into a small avenue that lead to Madam Puddifoots.

Her thin frame shaking, James pulled her through the door into a sudden burst of heat and down a frilly, lace-clothed table. He put up a hand to the owner of the shop to ask her to wait, Madam Puddifoot was a woman used to these situations, and would back off and leave the relationship to simmer. Whether this situation would boil over or cool down was another matter.

"Lily," James soothed "There's nothing we can do. Only do our little part to help at the moment. That's all darling, I'm sorry. I know you liked him very much, but he's beyond our help now" He shook his head.

Lily's reply came back muffled "I know James, but this is so hard, I loved that man. I love everyone in this town. And to see them completely disappear, beyond any help. That's just sad and wrong"

"You-know-who is wrong Lils" said James. "We can't save everyone so we just do our little part to help. If we expect too much of ourselves, we can only fall into decline."

"I know that you're right James, but I just don't want you to be"

§

"Can I get you dears anything? Tea? Coffee?" asked Madam Puddifoot, bustling over as if she had only just realised that they had come in, even though they had been staring systematically at each other and out of the window. Though they did not know it, in 16 odd years Lily's son would be sitting in James' exact seat.

"Teas please" replied James "plenty of sugar and cream too I think"

The teas came exactly as ordered a minute later, and when James grinned at the motherly figure, she knew that they would be leaving a large tip.

§

When they stood up, a little over two hours later, after a very long and heartfelt conversation, both Lily and James were happy. He had seemed to bring Lily over to his way of thinking about having children at that time, and was relieved that he would not have to live up to that responsibility just yet. Lily was grinning too. She had put the potion that Madam Acorah had given her last night into one of James' teas. That way he would open up slightly more and tell her his feelings when the time came that she wished for the spell to be activated and then he would be more likely to give her the chance of a child. At the same time, she would be able to understand his feelings properly.

Madam Puddifoots prediction was correct, she raised her eyes when she approached the table as the door swung shut behind the couple, and saw three Galleons on the table. Someone was feeling generous.

"So Lily, my love, light of my life, my only reason for being; where are going now?""

"I thought you knew?"

"Nope not me"

"Right, this way"

James groaned, decisive but often completely clueless. Women.

They stamped their way up the road and turned right and stopped still. A large manor house stood in front of them, shutters barring their sights way. James, and Lily too from his word, knew that inside the house there was no a scrap of furniture that was not completely wrecked from the savageness of Remus Lupin, two nights every month. She shook her head. It was not fair.

§

After much wasted time, night came at last and the pair set off to Hogwarts. It was a long walk but much more time passed, making it half eleven when they finally made it to the gates of the school. Perfect timing after a leisurely stroll. The only thought was the mission that Dumbledore was going to present them with

**A/N2: **Please Review. I apologise for such a short entry but I had to go for my tea and might not be able to get online again today and I felt like finishing this chapter, otherwise I will be thinking about this all night and wont sleep.


	4. Meetings and Lily’s Private Battle

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature, pay attention to this for this chapter

**Chapter 4 – Meetings and Lily's Private Battle**

Dumbledore slammed his fist to the table, he was angry. He was angry because his school was in danger and Dumbledore himself could do not help his Order Members defend the pupils.

"I can't be out there in the field," he seethed "Because I will have to defend my school from the inside. But you are able to defeat the Death Eaters when they come, because you have the ability, the ability that was cultivated at this very school, the ability to use your magic. You were chosen for this task because I trust that you will able to fight those that come."

Gideon, Fabian, Alice, James and Lily stared solemnly at the head teacher, bemused at this show of emotion and slightly shaken at the force.

"James," Dumbledore's eyes slid over to the messy haired boy, "I want you, Mr Lupin, Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew to watch the gates during the day, and we can never tell when they might strike."

"We know that the will strike on Halloween, so Gideon, Fabian, Lily, Alice, I need you to stay on guard in Hogsmede, both taking watch in shifts tonight and being fully on guard on Halloween" the blue eyes pierced each adult as they sat and watched him pause his pacing.

"Are you prepared to do this for me?" asked Dumbledore, eyes filled with compassion "There's a risk in sitting around doing nothing, as well as a risk if you fight. But you lessen the risk for others if you will do this for me"

They smiled back at him, each nodding their heads with comprehension and defiantly. They would fight for the world. Anyone who loved him would fight for Dumbledore.

§

James apparated straight to Potter Manor and relayed Dumbledore's instructions to Sirius, Peter and Remus. Sirius and Remus accepted at once, whilst Peter was slightly hesitant

"But there could be danger," he protested "We could be killed, we could be maimed for life, we could be blinded, we could…"

His objections were muffled by Sirius' neat hand over his mouth. Squeaks continued to issue, but could not be comprehended. They boys laughed.

"Wormtail, you sound like the rat that you are, quit fighting and take instructions like a man, not vermin" chucked Sirius.

Together they apparated back to Hogsmede, landing outside The Three Broomsticks, where four rooms had been borrowed from the landlady Madam Rosmerta. One was shared by Alice and Frank, another by the two brothers, a third by Lily and James and the fourth and final one was shared by Sirius, Remus and Peter.

§

They tried to get comfortable on the downy beds of the Three Broomsticks, but each member of the Order present was too uptight to be able to relax and let the events unfold. Peter, claiming to be unable concentrate on anything, left the inn and disappeared for an hour, presumably to join his vermin friends.

Alice and Frank slept curled up against each other in one of the chairs, Gideon and Fabian strode up and down, crossing each other and glancing out of their east facing windows to the castle looming through the gathering gloom. Remus and Sirius shifted between dozing and lifting their boredom induced, heavy lids to gaze at Hogwarts.

Lily looked at her watch; it had been three hours and thirty three minutes since she had put the potion into James' tea. It would have reached its most potent, now was the time to activate it. She wished. At once, his head lolled back, his eyes glazed over, and then his neck snapped back. He stared straight at Lily with blank eyes, next he shook his head violently like a dog, and his eyes defogged.

"Whoa, I think a blanked out for a sec then," laughed James "What did I miss?"

"Not much, it was literally a second" replied Lily, ever so slightly worried.

"Lily, I need to talk to you. It's about the other night"

She leaned forward and rested her head on hands. Boy, did Madam Acorah know her stuff?

"Go on" she said

"Well, I love you and everything Lil's, and I'd love for you to have a kid and be happy. But I'm scared. I don't care that this could be our only chance to have children because of Voldemort following the Order's footsteps at every turn, but I saw what happened with Mia Bellamy. I saw her pain when she gave birth, I had to be there and I saw her agony. I don't want to see you hurt."

Lily looked up; it was not just that he was scared of Voldemort, but that he was scared for her. Realization hit her with a flash; he didn't want to see her die. Mia had almost died in labour, and that had scarred James. No wonder he was worried.

"But it will be different this time around, we can go to St. Mungos, and we will be safe. Voldemort knows that we are waging this war wholeheartedly. And if you die…" her hand went up to her green eyes, "If you die I want to have someone who has part of you inside, so I can see you every day of my life"

This made sense both to James and herself. Lily had never let herself open up to this truth, even inside. It hurt too much to acknowledge that her beloved could leave her at any given moment.

Without a moments word, they fell into each others arms and held each other sobbing. Lily took one hand from her husbands shoulder and groped in her pocket for her wand. She whispered a charm and for a moment, James' eyes clouded over again, but then they cleared and he smiled at his wife.

"Come on my love," he whispered "I feel right as rain and I believe we have some unfinished business"

Lily gasped, this wasn't a spell, and this was pure truth. He had known what was going on; he had memory of the conversation. It was just the openness and the ability to open up that the potion had tweaked, not his feelings at all. Just as it said on the label.

She looked straight into James' smiling eyes and gasped at the passion that flared up behind them. She took her hands from his and laid them in her lap, staring at them.

"James, are you sure?" She opened her mouth and forced the words into the open, "I love, but I don't want to see you hurt, even as you don't want to see me" Her eyes transformed into glistening emeralds, with the tears welling up, "I waited for you to tell me that you wanted a child for the last uncountable months, but I can't bear to see you scared or unwilling"

She looked back at James, with unchecked tears rolling down her cheeks, her voice cracked as she spoke "I've been selfish James, and I want to know that you are being honest with me, and you really want to do this"

Two parts of Lily fought for her attention. One half wanted Lily to stop wasting time and be with her husband, this was the perfect moment and she was spoiling it. And if she had her husband tonight it would be the perfect day biologically.

"I'm glad that I know now, that I know why you are feeling restrained. And I've wanted to know that for a long time. But a child would mean the world to me. My sister is pregnant and mum told me how happy she is. And I want to be happy too, but not at the expense of our relationship."

She was breathing heavily now, and tears threatened to turn into gasping sobs. She was about to go on when James took her by the shoulder again and interrupted.

"Lily stop. I understand how you feel and now you understand how I feel, so we can get on with the job in hand. I know that you want a child but I've been selfish too, keeping this charm on to stop myself feeling fear."

"I have no idea of what will happen, I can't tell the future. But what I do know, is that now I know that I want a family when this war is over, and what better time to start than the present?"

At that moment, Lily did not take in the message that James had given out, but she had suspected – that he had laid a charm on himself to make sure, beyond all means, that Lily would not be impregnated with his child.

With that he took her to the bed and they lay on top of the covers just holding each other and feeling each others warm skin. Then slowly, ever so slowly, James took the lead and kissed Lily with surprising heat. He broke the kiss by removing Lily's shirt, caressing her softly all the way. He ripped off his own top and Lily lay almost stock still in surprise; this was normally forced to be her role.

"Lil's relax" He ran his hands up her soft body and smiled inwardly when she gave a tremble of pleasure.

She sat up without a word, a smile playing on her lips, and slowly, almost painfully, undid the buttons of his trousers. She was milking every second. As her fingers teased, stroking the hair just above his low trousers, James let out a groan. Under her hands, James became erect.

Lily did not waste a moment more. With force, she tore off his trousers and underwear, like a tiger, slid out of her own like a snake.

In what seemed like less than a second, she positioned herself above him and sank down. James took in a sharp breath, he closed his eyes, savouring the feeling that he had longed for secretly. Together they moaned in pleasure as like rose up and down, oblivious of the day outside.

After what seemed like both a millisecond and a lifetime all at once, James opened his eyes in a flash.

"Lily" he whispered hoarsely "Lily, I'm going to come"

That moment, Lily gasped as she felt his seed pumping into her. She let out a small whimper at the force but stayed in her position, staring straight into James eyes. She let a small smile onto her lips.

The deed was done.

§

The next day Lily lay in bed alone, the warmth disappeared from her blood and the bed where they had lain only a mere few hours ago. Nothing had happened that night, and her husband was on guard now.

She could not get comfortable. Lily stood up and walked round the room, pacing like a caged animal. She was frightened, frightened for her husband, frightened that she had tried to control her husband, frightened for her own life and the life of any child that she might be carrying.

She found her wand from beneath the bed, where she had thrown it before her love making this morning, and she waved it

"Ingravesco," Lily murmured the pregnancy test charm.

The room lit up with colour.

§

Sirius, Remus, James and a nail-biting, eyes darting Wormtail trooped into the humid inn, having been replaced by Lily, Alice, Gideon and Fabian. Spirits, high as the girls and the brothers marched down the road, became dampened as the darkness gathered around them as they lounged by the gates to Hogwarts.

The very thickness of the air told them that something was defiantly going to happen at Hogwarts tonight. Fear encased each wizard and chilled their hearts, froze their blood, and numbed their minds.

**A/N: **I'm sorry for taking so long guys, no excuse, just my apology. But to make it up I've written my longest update yet and I'm working on another.

Sorry


	5. Attack

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature, pay attention to this for this chapter

**Chapter 5: Attack**

Alice and Lily tried to make conversation, talking about menial things – housework, love, husbands – but their voices faded into nothing as the fear swept over them in waves. Gideon and Fabian's eyes were pale and haunted, as they darted around taking in each shadow.

The wind picked up and whistled around the body's of the Order members, bringing with it harsh grains of dust to bite at the wizards eyes. They squinted through the sand coloured mist, each grain gnawing at their exposed skin as if it had personally done some wrong towards it. All they could see, through bleary eyes, was blackness upon blackness. Nothing but dark.

In one movement, uncoordinated, spontaneous but synchronised, each wizard and witch drew out their wands and clutched at each others robes, preparing themselves and each other for any onslaught.

In a moment, no more than a second, the wind died and Lily gave a shaky laugh, there was nothing there, and it was just a freak wind. They let go of each others sleeves, trembling, but telling themselves that they were letting dread make the better of them.

"Better hope that's not your last laugh, my dear," came a husky voice from behind them.

In a swirl of black capes, the four young wizards turned around.

§

"Where are they?" asked James frantically, to the silent watchers "Why do we have to stay here? We can't see a thing in the dark. Dumbledore's an idiot; doesn't he know that we can't see in the dark? I mean, sure we can see sparks, but what if her magic's affected and…"

"James," interrupted Remus, "Stop. You know that he wouldn't send us here to wait for no reason. We are back up and we just have to wait. If there is someone watching, we can't blow their cover. We just have to sit here and be ready"

"There's no point wasting energy on things that we can't change. Save it for the battle Prongs. Moony's right."

"None of you understand, none of you have your soul mate waiting for her death. None of you are married, or in love"

There was a sharp intake of breath at this jibe. Remus' eyes darkened and swept to the floor. Sirius jumped up with anger, ready to fight.

Remus laid his hand on Sirius' elbow. "He didn't mean it"

James flushed with anger, and left the room.

§

Seven masked Death Eaters stood behind the group. Each had glittering eyes, filled with confidence, and a leering mouth, grotesquely contorted in the skeletal features.

Lily suppressed a shudder, Alice just stared, Fabian gaped and Gideon took a step forwards.

Each wizard raised their wands compulsively, and without warning, the Death Eaters cast their spells.

Cries of Avada Kedavra, Stupefy, Crucio and Protego filled the air. Flashes of light and darts of sound whooshed past each Order member, grazing cheeks. All of a sudden, all parties froze as a scream filled the air. Alice was on the floor, writhing in pain.

Her back arched, her whole body contracted with the agony she was going through. Her screams echoed through the village.

The Death Eaters recovered first and shot a curse at Fabian. At once he fell, stunned, to the ground. Anger acted like adrenaline for Gideon, as it pumped round his veins, and he leaped on the nearest Death Eater with a roar.

He took fell to the ground, with five Death Eaters upon him and his brother. Two Death Eaters, brawny but musky men, rugby tackled Lily and she gave a scream as she fought.

Alice, panting heavily from her exertion and pain, having great presence of mind, shot a bolt of red energy at one of the Death Eaters holding Lily. The other rolled out of the way to avoid being hit by the next Stunning spell.

Free from the weight of two grown men, Lily brought herself under control quickly and shot a quick 'renervate' towards the group of Death Eaters over Gideon and Fabian. In that flash, Fabian turned over the two men on top of him and went to help his brother.

The Death Eater who had held Lily only a minute before sent a green streak towards Fabian and the colour drained from his cheeks. He fell to the floor in slow motion, not trying to stop himself. It looked as though he just crumpled like wet paper, his knees, then his waist and then every part of his torso just collapsed.

He was dead before his face hit the ground.

From then on, Gideon fought like a madman; both with his hands and nails and his wand, three men fell from curses. Lily turned on the Death Eater who had killed Fabian. He would not stop staring at the corpse, he just stood there.

Lily waved her wand and whispered "Avada Kedavra"

Just as Fabian had the Death Eater fell upon the damp grass. Lily wiped a tear from her eye; the man would have done the same to her.

There were three Death Eaters left, the one Alice had knocked down had recovered and she was in a fierce duel with him.

Lily glanced around at Gideon and was about to rush to his aid, when she saw that his eyes went blank and his mouth opened in a silent O. A silent scream as he died.

The Death Eater duelling with Alice stunned her and grabbed her as she fell.

"Get the other," came the rough voice

Lily felt arms around her, and the pull of Side-Along Apparation, as James, Remus and Sirius appeared through the fog, to helpless reach out to Lily and Alice. Their grasps fell short as she disappeared

**A/N: **Only a short one, but full of suspense I think. Thank you to SailorHectate for his reviews, despite the fact he is determined to call me chappie whilst I remain female :roll:

Lol, thank you for your support and keep up the reviews


	6. Force

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, but the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature, pay attention to this for this chapter

**Chapter 6: Force**

"Let me go" demanded Lily as she struggle in the arms of her captor "Let me go"

Alice was stock still in the clutches of the other Death Eater, paralysed by the Stunning spell.

"If you don't stop," growled the man in her ear "Then your fate will be decided by me instead of the Dark Lord"

At once Lily stopped, but she could not bring herself to submit to the pulls of the strong arms. She dug her feet into the floor, dragging brown marks into the grass as it was forced away. She could feel her arms bruising under the tight grip, but as her energy, already depleted from the battle, faded away, so did the world.

§

When Lily awoke she found herself strapped by the hands and ankles to a roughly hewn stone table, jutting out of the rock face. She glanced to her left and saw a peacefully sleeping Alice in the exact same situation as herself.

Her heart thudding, she shivered and could feel the cold iron next to her bare ankles. It registered that she was wearing shoes previously, and she looked down at herself. She found the cause – the Death Eaters had stripped her down to her underwear and her whole body was raised in goose pimples as the harsh breeze rose once again.

She bit her lip to stop the rage emitting from her lips at the indecency. From out of the darkness, two red eyes appeared before her and Lily's sharp intake of the polluted wind made her choke. Her eyes swam and blurred the red gaze, but she could feel it pricking into her soul, sharp as ever. Voldemort stood before her.

"Hello my red haired beauty" he ground out from his harsh mouth "it's nice of you to join us after your sleep. Was it peaceful?"

The words forming from her mouth never arrived, as a spell whipped out from the darkness, causing a cut on her ribs. The blood pooled on her stomach and she let out a cry of pain.

"That's right, cry" Voldemort goaded, eyes flashing.

Lily could now hear the impatient rustling of the Death Eaters around her. She fumed inside but would not grace the Dark Lord with a reply.

"Pity, pity Lily" said Voldemort offhandedly. His Leglimency skills letting him know of her every thought as it entered her mind. "Let us see then, how far we can push you before you submit"

Lily's brain vaguely registered these words, "Submit to what?" The words, supposed to be silent, were forced out of her by the next spell from the gloom. The gritted her teeth to bear it. Voldemort chuckled.

"See that boys, this young girl have vigour" he laughed again "Shall we see if that vigour is the same when we break those boundaries she's set?"

§

James was pacing again, treading Dumbledore's own steps in his office. "How can he just ask us to wait? Wait here, now? How long for? Why can't we just go out and find her?"

Remus stood up and, as always the voice of reason did, he reasoned with James, as he took him by the shoulders and stared straight into his eyes.

"There's nothing you can do that Dumbledore isn't already trying to do. We couldn't be a help, we would only hinder the search parties because we are emotionally involved. A lot of our "job" requires waiting so that's exactly what we are going to do James. We are going to sit here, get a cup of pumpkin juice or something and wait

"That's all we can do"

§

Lily trashed in her bindings to get away, trying to pull from the rings of metal to escape. She knew what was going to happen, the same thing that had happened to Mary. And she left the order, scarred mentally for life; her escape was touch and go. The stress of rape was enough for any woman, but to have it from the Dark Lord himself, in front of all the Death Eater, was enough to make one die of shame.

Lily yelped at each sting of the spell, enough to make her hurt and shame her, but not enough to maim her or draw much blood.

They were just trying to weaken her for their Lord's advances.

And the advance was slow and painful. Lily's body was yearning for touch and comfort, after going through such a savage beating, but she wanted that comfort from her husband, not a monster, from which not an ounce of soothing could come from.

But the Dark Lord came onto her already, she could see that he was already aroused by the way her back arched away from the stone with each pain and she resisted for as long as she had energy.

§

The rumble of the staircase moving up told the waiting men that Dumbledore was coming back up. James jumped to his feet; he had been waiting in a broody silence, staring at the floor, since Remus had pulled his authoritive trump card. Sirius watched James' every movement and knew his every mood better than anyone.

"Be careful what you say Prongs, you know he's doing his best"

James gave no sign of hearing him, other than a small twitch of his iris.

Dumbledore soon stood at the door and bowed to the room at general, creating the illusion that he was not guarded towards James' anger.

He swept over to the desk before James could say a word, and sat on his seat with a sigh.

"You will be glad to know" he said interrupting James' prefix, "That we know where you're wife is. We cannot get to her as it stands but we have the whole Order out there waiting."

"Waiting? What good ever came from waiting?" demanded James

"Without waiting we would all be as headlong as you Prongs" said Sirius "Thank you Professor for giving this matter your fullest attention. We'll just leave"

And with that Sirius, Peter and Remus dragged the protesting James bodily from the room.

§

Lily's eyes were closed as Lord Voldemort thrust himself inside her. She could not bear to feel what she was feeling at this moment; disgust, revulsion, hatred. All the words could not describe her true feeling because repugnancy was beyond words. The fact that she also felt pleasure at the mans readiness was like being pulled apart by two separate forces that would not stop screaming to go in the opposite direction.

Lily's mind registered her body twisting away from each spell, causing pleasure for the Dark Lord. She shuddered at that thought – pleasure for the Dark Lord that she was causing. It was sick.

The torture seemed never ending, as Voldemort's cloak shrouded his own penis but still left enough of Lily to be indecent and humiliating. As Voldemort rose up and down, and each blast of light brought renewed pain, Lily could feel herself slipping away again, any excess energy used up in resistance.

Her eyes scrunched closed to stop any glazing from being shown, but it did not stop the feeling of the close skin-on-skin, the jolts of spells or the sperm racing through her.

And she could do nothing; just wait for it to be over.

**A/N: **Ooopsie, I hope this is OK, but I owe SailorHectate and apology – she's a she and she meant chapter, not that she was calling me chappie.

-Bangs head against wall-

Owwwwwww!!


	7. More Waiting and Confrontation

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, but the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature, pay attention to this for this chapter

**Chapter 7: More Waiting and Confrontation**

Lily could not count the days as she lay there, her back a constant, grinding pain. The cuts that littered her body reopened now and again and bled sluggishly when she moved. Alice had awoken not long after Voldemort had raped Lily, and the latter was forced to watch as performed the exact same act on her friend. Every time she closed her eyes, another barb stung and she was forced to keep her eyes on Alice, her face screwed up in pain.

Lily tried to calculate the nights she had gone through, and the days she had forced down a sip of stale water and a morsel of bread. In the end, exhausted, she forced herself not to think, not to count every second ticking by like a lifetime.

In the outside world, James attempted the exact same technique to no avail. Every day she was watched, but five days went by and they could not rescue her. Lord Voldemort was in the house and there were too many Death Eaters on site and on edge.

"Lily," Alice whispered on the fifth night, "Lily"

"What?" came the strained reply

"Lily, what can we do? We can't very well just lay here for the rest of our lives. What are they going to do to us next?"

"I have no idea; all we can do is wait for the time to pass us by, even if we're here forever. The Order knows where we are, I'm sure of it. If anyone can organise a rescue, it's Dumbledore. He's a genius, he'll figure it out"

§

That night there was tension in the air, wound as thick as a rope round a reel. Two Death Eaters came back from their patrols with blood on their faces, though they didn't know what had happened.

When Lord Voldemort probed their minds, he found the memory had completely disappeared.

"Dumbledore" he growled

From then on, that night, the girls were under double guard and managed to tweak out the information that a Death Eater had completely disappeared. Voldemort was restless; he could feel the powerful Order magics combined. All at once, three explosions went off, one at the east end of the house and two along the perimeter of the land.

Fire raged at the borders, most Death Eaters had gone to save the house. Voldemort swept away, face darkened in anger, to the north end of the fences, where the fire and destruction was the worst. The panicked guards moved closer to Lily and Alice. Without a sign, two bolts of red came out of the darkness, stunning the guards and allowing Remus and Benjy Fenwick to open Lily and Alice's clasps.

Alice fell upon Benjy's shoulder, sobbing with relief, whilst Lily rubbed her sore wrists and ankles and whispered to Lupin.

"Remus, our wands"

Voldemort had not considered the possibility that the wands might be retrieved, trusting too much in the competence of his servants. Proof of this came zooming towards them, hitting Alice in the back and landing gently in Lily's hand.

Stifling hysterical laughter, the four apparated home to their families.

§

The first real argument between Remus and James was breaking out in the kitchen of the Potter's home in Godric Hollow.

"How can you go out and be with my wife whilst I'm stuck here under virtual house arrest?" fumed James

"I just saved your wife!" stormed Remus "I needn't have risked my life, I could have stayed home, you should be thanking me"

"You don't get it do you? You never fitted in with us, bookworm. When all we wanted to do was enjoy ourselves, you pulled us back to study things we already knew"

"What are you on?" bellowed Remus "Never once did I get thanked for saving your behinds from Dumbledore or McGonagall, or anyone of the teachers. But I did that, there wouldn't be a week where I wasn't in some teachers office trying to explain away your actions"

Lily looked on in silence, her face was gaunt and sunken from starvation and her eyes were haunted.

"For the amount of prank you pulled," continued Lupin "You could be in jail"

"Oh yeah? What about you? All the people you could have killed; that village you nearly attacked? If it wasn't for us, if it wasn't for me and Padfoot – you could have been put down like some dog" ranted James

Lupin recoiled and paled visibly.

"James, that's enough" intruded Lily, "Why don't you just sit down and discuss this like sensible, mature adults?"

The boys both spoke at once

"You were always butting in Lily; can't you let me do things myself?"

"Sensible, mature adults?" laughed Remus cynically "James will never be mature"

With that Lupin left the house

§

Lily buried her auburn head in her hands, her hair hiding her pale face. Sobs racked her body.

"Lils…" started James "I'm…"

"Stop it James, just stop it

"Haven't you done enough?"

**A/N: wow, this is a small chapter, sorry guys but I think this is a good place to end, so here we are. Please review, your comments really do make a difference to what I write.**

**I'm sorry that I didn't update yesterday or the day before but I was working on my other story, anyway hope you enjoyed**


	8. Double Trouble

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, but the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature

**Chapter 8: Double Trouble**

For the rest of the week, when attending meetings and sorting out Potter Manor and its guests, James treated Remus indifferently, ignoring him whenever possible and being very civil when approached. Remus endured this in equal, though dignified, silence. The werewolf came up trumps socially because Lily and Sirius both agreed with him, and life was more relaxed when the quiet Remus was around compared with the fuming James.

Every night James would work off his fury with Lily in bed, and although this tired both her and James out, and a small part of it terrified Lily, it was exhilarating and an amazing bond was emerging between the two of them.

The winter had drawn in and more often than not, the younger members of the Order were kept busy keeping the fires burning in every room of the large house, a tiring task but both Lily and Alice were feeling particularly exhausted since their troubles.

It had been exactly three weeks since the first night in Hogsmede, November 28th, when Remus and James finally made up. It was James, swallowing his pride, who approached the issue first.

"Look, mate, I'm sorry" he said quickly, "I was stressed and I know that isn't a very good excuse, it's just… I was so scared for Lily"

Lupin nodded his head and laid a hand on James' shoulder "I do understand James; it's just so hard for any of us not to be jealous of what you have. You have a wife, a future and you can't accept that you don't have to play the part of the hero all the time. You know that it's practically impossible for me to have what you have.

"I shouldn't be jealous but I am. I'm sorry too"

James stared at this revelation, unable to speak and unaware that his friend had felt this way.

"It's not Lily, it's just that you've felt love and you do absolutely nothing for her. Never flowers, never chocolates or ordinary comforts. You just blatantly ignore her most of the time. Appreciate what you've got for once Prongs"

§

Lily was in the potions room, brewing healing potions for the injured, to help St. Mungos and all who had been hurt by the evils of the Dark Lord.

"One dash of wormwood, two pinches of silver dust" she recited under her breath. "Simmer for…"

"Alice"

"Three minut…" she gasped, hand to her heart, and spun around to face the round innocent face of Alice Longbottom. "Oh my goodness Alice, never do that again"

"Sorry" she said quietly, her eyes downcast.

Lily put her hand under Alice's chin and brought her face up to the light, "You're pale Alice, is there anything the matter? You eat enough at meal times; everyone can see that you still have an appetite. Quite a large one recently I've noticed"

Alice waved Lily's hand away. "Lily, stop. I've come to ask you something. How can you tell if you're pregnant?"

Lily smiled, biting back the reply of 'you have the memory of a goldfish' and replaced it with "Ingravesco, that's the charm. If there's a pink flash you're expecting a girl, blue and you're going to have a boy, green and its twins. But if it comes up purple then you're not pregnant"

She smiled again, regretfully this time "I did it three weeks ago, when I was ovulating. But no pregnancy for me" Lily's eyes were wistful, "I hope it goes well for you, Ingravesco remember"

Alice's face contorted in concentration "Ingravesco" she muttered, but nothing happened.

"Look watch" said Lily "Ingravesco"

Bright blue light seared across the room and Lily gaped.

"But no, that's not possible"

Alice's face was a mirror of Lily's. "Dear Merlin Lily, you're pregnant"

"So it seems" she shook her head "I was wondering why I missed my monthly, I thought it was just trauma. Was that enough of a demonstration for you?"

Nodding her head, Alice cast the spell "Ingravesco"

Once more, the cornflower blue lit up the dark room and the two girls squealed

"I can't believe it! Both of us! Pregnant!"

"Well congratulations girls"

McGonagall walked into the room to the girls jumping up and down, and smiled

"Oh we're sorry Minerva, we were just… we'll shut up shall we?"

"That would be wise; I don't think that we should alert the whole of the wizarding world to our triumphs just yet should we?"

The girls blushed, the student taking over the adult.

"I was just coming up to say that dinner's ready if you can make it down. I know that you might be busy with your potions Lily"

At that moment, the healing potion reached boiling point and Lily's want vibrated. She rushed to the cauldron to administer roasted peacock ashes. Absorbed in her work, she did not notice the two smiling women leaving the room.

§

That night in bed, both Lily and James were happy but tired as they snuggled together for warmth as snow fell early outside.

"I have some news for you" they whispered at the same time

"You go first," said Lily, sitting up and leaning on one elbow

"I made up with Remus"

"Oh that's great" said Lily, genuinely happy

"So what's your news?" asked James, tickling Lily's nose

"Quit it James." She protested, "Be serious"

"Sorry" he said, "I hadn't known that this was a serious occasion"

"Twit" Lily replied "I'm pregnant"

"What?" James exploded "But... but… how? Already?"

"It only takes once. Did you never take biology?" she smiled wanly "Aren't you happy James?"

"No, no, no" he kissed her gently, "I was shocked that's all. Don't you worry

"Now, let's have some fun to celebrate" said James, as he pulled her close. "No wait. Are we allowed? Shouldn't we go to the healers? Will it hurt the baby? I should be thinking about you. Can I get you anything? Would you like some food? Pickles? Does anything ache? Or hurt? Are you tired? Should I…"

"Hush" Lily whispered, putting a finger to his soft lips. "I'm fine, the baby's fine. It's a boy in case you wanted to know."

She laughed at his annoyance with himself, but they settled down happily together, and soon fell into sleep, arms around each other.

**A/N: Sorry this is kind of small as well guys. Get over it  I've been away in Scotland but there will be updates tomorrow and Wednesday as well probably**

**Thanks for the 30 people who managed to read my last chapter and thanks for the review**

**It gets lonely up there doesn't it SH? Lols**


	9. Announcement and Development

**Disclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, they all belong to JKRowling, but the plot is just mine.

**A/N:** Contains Spoilers, rated M for mature

**Chapter 9: Announcement and Development**

Christmas came and went and Lily and Alice surprised each other when they gave each other matching presents – knitted blankets in blue wool that sparkled with stars in the dark. Lily, James, Alice and Frank would share secret smiles whenever they saw another member of the foursome. So far they had not told anyone else. The girls were 7 weeks pregnant, according to the Healers at St. Mungos.

Dumbledore called a meeting on New Years Eve for all of the Order, he started off by apologising.

"I am deeply sorry that I have had to summon you from your homes and your families on a night that you all wish to spend with them, a night of hope and contemplation of the future, something that we all need. But I do not summon you here on a mere whim. There is great danger that we have been alerted to. There have been warnings that a Death Eater attack will be launched at the centre of London when the muggle fireworks are to be released"

"You know how many gather there for celebrations, you know the dangers that will be involved. I say this every time but you do need to learn this and be reminded, I can't bear anyone of you getting hurt whilst being unaware of the possibilities. Ten of you need to be present at the scene. Emmeline, Frank, Dedalus, Benjy, Elphias, Caradoc, Mad Eye, Remus, Minerva and Lily"

"No!" exclaimed James at the last name

"Is there an objection Mr Potter?" Dumbledore asked calmly

James flushed at all the eyes looking at him, ashamed slightly at his outburst, "Erm… Erm… I don't want Lily out in the field. Not in her… after last time…"

Minerva raised steady eyes to Dumbledore and nodded her head ever so slightly

"Very well" he said, "I presume that you are offering your services on this night"

"Yes sir" volunteered James

§

That evening, just as it was starting to get dark, Frank, Alice, James, Lily, Remus and Sirius were gathered around the fire in one of the sitting rooms, bathing in the glow and the wash of heat. Peter was not present.

"Well guys," said Lily standing up, "James and I have an announcement to make"

James joined her in front of the fire. Alice dragged Frank to his feet and stood next to her friend.

"We have one to make as well, the same one in fact" she said

"We're pregnant" Lily explained.

Both of the remaining sitting men stood up. Remus looked stunned, but murmured "That explains a lot"

"What? Congratulations guys, girls," Sirius interrupted, "That's great news, really great"

"What d'you mean Mooney?" asked James

"The hurried trips to the bathrooms, the appetite, your outburst"

"Someone's observant" replied James

Shrugging, Remus answered "habit"

Sirius elbowed the werewolf out of the way and shook James' and Franks' hands. "Congratulations, I really mean it" He then kissed Lily and Alice on the cheeks and said with a broad grin "You should have fun"

"What do you mean Black?" asked Lily rolling her eyes

"Getting fat, morning sickness, pain, aches, and then you've got the uncomfortable clothes, tiredness. You're doomed"

Lily stuck out her tongue. "You sound like you speak from experience"

Sirius winked, "Wouldn't you like to know"

§

The alert at the fireworks turned out to be a false alarm. No one was sure whether the presence of the Order had frightened away the Death Eaters, if it were a diversion or just a hoax, and no one caught wind of anything else that had happened. At first the company were bemused, but they realised that they had much to be grateful for. At least they were not injured, or dead even.

The days ticked by quickly, with not much drama but always routine. Keeping busy patrolling the streets, rotas for cooking for the whole house, researching timetables, potion duty, cleaning schedules, the list of lists was endless. The organization of the Manor was imperative to success and the safety of each member.

Lily and Alice both felt mutual guilt as they saw their husbands insisting on taking over their shifts on patrol whenever they could. Lily was furious with her body when she discovered that she couldn't stand a moment in the potions lab or the kitchen, as the fumes overwhelmed her and drove her to one of the bathrooms in an instant. Apart from suffering from horrendous morning sickness, she suffered from terrible mood swings.

As she approached three months, Lily caught sight of her gently swelling belly in one of the mirrors. Anyone who knew her would guess that she was expecting now. She stroked it tenderly as James came silently, unnoticed through the door.

Softly, he said "Hey there my girl"

Lily jumped about a foot in the air, "James don't do that!" she shouted, "You almost gave me a heart attack"

He put his hands up in mock surrender "OK, OK, I'm sorry. I only came here to…" He stopped when he saw her face twisted in anger, pale and tired.

"James, you're so childish, why can't you just grow up? Why can't you…"

"Sweetheart," he replied taking a step forwards "Would you have me any other way"

Her fury sparked "Yes, I'd have you gentler and more grown up and mature and compassionate and… and…" she ran out of words

"Darling," said James patiently, taking one more step, "You know I'm trying, I'm doing all I can"

She slumped into her husbands waiting arms and tears swept down her face, she hiccupped over his shoulder

"I'm sorry" she choked, "I don't mean to be like this, I'm sorry"

"Hush" he soothed "Its ok, come on sweetheart"

She sniffed in reply

"Come on, breakfast. We got to keep your energy up my love"

And so they walked downstairs together to the dining room, James' hand supporting her back.

Every day seemed to be a trial for the both of them. James was exhausted from double duties of everything. Lily never comprehended how much he did for her, ever turn in the kitchen, every turn cleaning, every patrol every night and every day. Lily felt her strength being sapped from her body as she took every step anywhere. Her baby depleted her energy completely, until she was sleeping solidly for twelve hours a night by her fifth month.

Their relationship was rocky at this time but their love for each other kept them sane, during what was a very difficult start to the pregnancy.

**A/N: This is longer :D I got 900 views so thank you very much. And last update meant this story has over 10000 words, which for me is quite an accomplishment.**

**Please review**


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